Vande Velde’s View: ‘Harden the ….

By Christian Vande Velde, CSC Professional Cycling Team

I have been wearing a black bracelet that says “Harden The F**k Up” since the first of July.

Stuart O’Grady gave them to us before the start of the Tour de France in London and we all wore them with pride. Even when things are going good, you are always one hundred corners away from victory but only one away from defeat. Then, of course, when Stuey crashed horrifically out of the Tour, broke 10 bones, and was stuck in a hospital bed we didn’t even think of taking them off. I still haven’t, it reminds me how easy it is take things for granted.

Stuey lives in Monaco, thousands of miles away from Australia, has never known anything but a six-figure salary, and is still one the hardest men on earth. He lives life to the fullest and isn’t scared of shit. He is already back on the bike, even though he doesn’t need to be. He wants to be.

I know that he would’ve given anything to be with us at the Tour this year and also here at the Vuelta. In fact our Spaniards even wear them for the same reason, now that is saying something. Inigo really doesn’t know the significance, but riding in his 14th Vuelta, he is the definition of Hard.

Karsten Kroon, and I have been feeding off each other this Vuelta. He has given me more confidence and taught me not be afraid to try. I downright surprised myself when I said that I was going to seek a stage win in my last diary. I didn’t let myself down either and fought tooth and nail for that stage, but another hard man won, in Jay Mac. Jay has a wife and two kids at home and he hasn’t seen them two months and when you look into his eyes you know that he isn’t here to play. If he is making that kind of sacrifice, it’s because he wants the best for his family and absolutely loves his job. Like all of us expat’s, living abroad. Again, nothing for granted.

This last month has been really hard mentally. There has never been an easy September, but this one is exceptional. I didn’t have to do the Vuelta, but I knew that it was the best for my development, best for my team and I that I knew that I could do well. But like I said before it has taken a lot of sacrifice. Something not everyone is willing to do. Jay made the hard decision to be here in Spain and to prolong the separation from his family, but now it has turned in his favor ten-fold, making him one of the most recruited riders in the peloton.

I read an article today in a cycling magazine today that infuriated me. It featured one current French rider who generalized about riders doping. “It’s impossible without drugs, yet everyone who doesn’t know better raves about how professional these guys are.”

Nice, if I was French I would’ve been the top Frenchman in the Tour de France this year and my salary would probably be doubled, all this while working for the captains of my team. I am clean, so can I apply for a French passport? I only live 63k away from the French border.

But really, sorry about that. Which brings me back to my bracelet. I have chosen this lifestyle and so has Leah. It’s not the easiest of lives at times, but in our minds our memories will be richer than Donald Trump.

I admit, as I sit up at night, thinking about being back in the states, going to football games, seeing a movie that isn’t dubbed – simple things – I am jealous at times. It would be great to drive my car to a race or to race through my home town, so that people at the local bar would finally understand what I do for a living. But I am here to race and not to make public appearances. And I am more than happy to do so… shit, I am honored that I have been given the privilege to do this for a living.

Wearing this bracelet doesn’t make me think of Chopper Reid, but it does ground me and make me think about my situation andthat of others. So I guess in the end being an expat is a blessing and a curse.

One constant commitment and sacrifice but at the end of the day, every day is Sunday.

FILED UNDER: Rider Diaries